19911009 Caitanya-caritamrita Madhya-līlā.2.39-52

The following is the class given by HH Jayapatākā Swami on October 09 1991, Atlanta Georgia. The class begins with readings from Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Madhya-līlā chapter 2, Verse 39 through 52.

kṣaṇe bāhya haila mana, āge dekhe dui jana,
tāṅre puche,—āmi nā caitanya?
svapna-prāya ki dekhinu, kibā āmi pralāpinu,
tomarā kichu śuniyācha dainya?

(Caitanya-caritāmṛta 2.39)

Translation: In an instant, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu regained external consciousness and saw two persons before Him. Questioning them, He asked, “Am I conscious? What dreams have I been seeing? What craziness have I spoken? Have you heard some expressions of humility?”

Purport: When Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu thus spoke in ecstasy, He saw two persons before Him. One was His secretary, Svarūpa Dāmodara, and the other was Rāya Rāmānanda. Coming to His external consciousness, He saw them both present, and although He was still talking in the ecstasy of Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, He immediately began to question whether He was the same Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu

śuna mora prāṇera bāndhava
nāhi kṛṣṇa-prema-dhana,—
daridra mora jīvana, dehendriya vṛthā mora saba
(Caitanya-caritāmṛta 2.40)

Translation: Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu continued, “My dear friends, you are all My life and soul; therefore, I tell you that I possess no wealth of love for Kṛṣṇa. Consequently, My life is poverty-stricken. My limbs and senses are useless.”

punaḥ kahe,—hāya hāya, śuna, svarūpa-rāmarāya,
ei mora hṛdaya-niścaya

śuni karaha vicāra, haya, naya—kaha sāra,
eta bali’ śloka uccāraya

(Caitanya-caritāmṛta 2.41)

Translation: Again He addressed Svarūpa Dāmodara and Rāya Rāmānanda, speaking despondently: “Alas! My friends, you can now know the certainty within My heart, and after knowing My heart you should judge whether I am correct or not. You can speak of this properly. Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu then began to chant another verse.

ka-i-avarahi-aṁ pemmaṁ ṇa hi hoi māṇuse loe
ja-i hoi kassa virahe hontammi ko jīa-i

(Caitanya-caritāmṛta 2.42)

Translation: “Love of Godhead, devoid of cheating propensities, is not possible within this material world. If there is such a love, there cannot be separation, for if there is separation, how can one live?”

Purport: This is a verse in a common language called prākṛta, and the exact Sanskrit transformation is kaitava-rahitaṁ premā na hi bhavati mānuṣe loke/ yadi bhavati kasya viraho virahe saty api ko jīvati.

akaitava kṛṣṇa-prema, yena jāmbūnada-hema,
sei premā nṛloke nā haya
 yadi haya tāra yoga, nā haya tabe viyoga,
viyoga haile keha nā jīyaya

(Caitanya-caritāmṛta 2.43)

Translation: “Pure love for Kṛṣṇa, just like gold from the Jāmbū River, does not exist in human society. If it existed, there could not be separation. If separation were there, one could not live.”

eta kahi’ śacī-sūta, śloka paḍe adbhuta,
śune duṅhe eka-mana hañā
āpana-hṛdaya-kāja, kahite vāsiye lāja,
tabu kahi lāja-bīja khāñā

(Caitanya-caritāmṛta 2.44)

Translation: Thus speaking, the son of Śrīmatī Śacīmātā recited another wonderful verse, and Rāmānanda Rāya and Svarūpa Dāmodara heard this verse with rapt attention. Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu said, “I feel shameful to disclose the activities of My heart. Nonetheless, I shall be done with all formalities and speak from the heart. Please hear.”

na prema-gandho ’sti darāpi me harau
krandāmi saubhāgya-bharaṁ prakāśitum
vaṁśī-vilāsy-ānana-lokanaṁ vinā
bibharmi yat prāṇa-pataṅgakān vṛthā

(Caitanya-caritāmṛta 2.45)

Purport: Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu continued, “My dear friends, I have not the slightest tinge of love of Godhead within My heart. When you see Me crying in separation, I am just falsely exhibiting a demonstration of My great fortune. Indeed, on not seeing the beautiful face of Kṛṣṇa playing His flute, I continue to live My life like an insect, without purpose.”

dūre śuddha-prema-gandha, kapaṭa premera bandha,
seha mora nāhi kṛṣṇa-pāya
tabe ye kari krandana, sva-saubhāgya prakhyāpana,
kari, ihā jāniha niścaya
(Caitanya-caritāmṛta 2.46)

Translation: “Actually, My love for Kṛṣṇa is far, far away. Whatever I do is actually an exhibition of pseudo love of Godhead. When you see Me cry, I am simply falsely demonstrating My great fortune. Please try to understand this beyond a doubt.”

yāte vaṁśī-dhvani-sukha, nā dekhi’ se cāṅda mukha,
yadyapi nāhika ’ālambana’
nija-dehe kari prīti, kevala kāmera rīti,
prāṇa-kīṭera kariye dhāraṇa

(Caitanya-caritāmṛta Madhya 2.47)

Translation: Even though I do not see the moonlike face of Kṛṣṇa playing on His flute, and although there is no possibility of My Meeting Him, still I take care of My own body. That is the way of lust. In this way, I maintain My fly-like life.”

Purport by Śrīla Prabhupāda:

In this connection, Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura says that the love of the Supreme Lord is the supreme shelter. The Lord is the supreme subject, and the devotees are the object. The coming together of a subject and object is called ālambana. The object hears, and the subject plays the flute. That the object cannot see the moonlike face of Kṛṣṇa and has no eagerness to see Him is the sign of being without ālambana. Externally imagining such a thing simply satisfies one’s lusty desires, and thus one lives without purpose.

Jayapatākā Swami: So Lord Caitanya is expressing his extreme humility, establishing what is the highest standard of actual devotion to Kṛṣṇa. Here we see Lord Caitanya expressing I have no devotion for Kṛṣṇa, I am not a pure devotee, I am not a pure lover of Kṛṣṇa, but the mood with which He is doing it is extreme humility, frustration, separation of Kṛṣṇa, personal worthlessness.

Sometimes talking with devotees, someone may say, “Oh! This is my false ego, nobody is pure, cannot be pure devotee.” And that is supposed to be accepted as a reason. Their defects, their mistakes is pointed out, and they say, “Oh! that is my false ego!”, as if, “Sorry, don’t expect me to be pure, don’t expect me to be on the standard of devotional service.

Here, Lord Caitanya is not saying you know, “I don’t have love for Kṛṣṇa, and I can’t see his face.” He is not saying in that, he is saying in one attitude, he is saying in such a way that his heart is rendering, he is saying in a deep love and affection for Kṛṣṇa.

Prabhupāda used a word sometimes “shameless”, for all our inefficiency and defects in devotional service, we should be very ashamed, Lord Caitanya is expressing shame “hai! hai!”, using the word, “hay!, hay!” means like “Alas! Alas!”, He said, “I feel shameful to disclose the activities of my heart. Of course Lord Caitanya is saying this in his extreme humility more for our instruction, still Lord Caitanya has got, has the purest love for Kṛṣṇa. He is Kṛṣṇa Himself. He has pure love for Kṛṣṇa but He is presenting like this that “I don’t have pure love. But what do you think is pure love? You see Me cry for Kṛṣṇa, is just a show. If I really have pure love for Kṛṣṇa how can I be alive, not being with him? If I really have love for Kṛṣṇa that even though I am not seeing Kṛṣṇa, how could I just callously be taking care of my body and just worrying about my material self-interest all the time, why wouldn’t I just be completely mad after seeing Kṛṣṇa always? So, he compares himself to a fly or an insect, a kīṭa, an insect. Absolutely essential for us to be successful in devotional service, to evaluate ourselves, our devotion according to the highest standard that that we should be practicing. Otherwise we won’t be able to achieve anything even close to it.

Certainly, we can’t judge us ourselves simply according to the activity of others, pure… We surrender to our guru because we find some qualities in Guru, pure devotion or purity in devotion. We want to get that quality from the Spiritual master. Once we stop trying, once we become self-satisfied, “Whatever we are ok for now”, basically speaking we are stuck up. Our car has run out of gas. So, here when we hear these verses of Caitanya Mahāprabhu, the heart rendering humble, expressions of shame and lack of devotion, we should be ashamed that how little devotion we have.

kṛṣṇa-premā sunirmala, yena śuddha-gaṅgā-jala,
sei premā — amṛtera sindhu
nirmala se anurāge, nā lukāya anya dāge,
śukla-vastre yaiche masī-bindu
(Caitanya-caritāmṛta 2.48)

Translation: Love for Kṛṣṇa is very pure, just like the waters of the Ganges. That love is an ocean of nectar. That pure attachment to Kṛṣṇa does not conceal any spot, which would appear just like a spot of ink on a white cloth.

Purport: Unalloyed love of Kṛṣṇa is just like a big sheet of white cloth. Absence of attachment is compared to a black spot on that white cloth. Just as the black spot is prominent, so the absence of love of Godhead is prominent at the platform of pure love of Godhead.

Jayapatākā Swami: Here we see the example, big white sheet of cloth is unalloyed love of Kṛṣṇa. So, any slight absence of attachment to Kṛṣṇa is compared to black spot on the pure white cloth. So, Lord Caitanya is just saying that some time I am taking care of my body, or I am doing different things. At that time, I am not fully absorbed in separation for Kṛṣṇa. He is pointing out, what he feels to be symptoms of his lack of pure love of Kṛṣṇa.

Because if we compare our devotion, it’s more like black cloth with few white spots, the white is prominent. “Oh! There is a little devotion there, you see.” So, it may be hard to relate with Caitanya Mahāprabhu’s ecstatic expressions, but our goal is actually to have a white cloth free from all the black spots. One-time Śrīla Prabhupāda said that it is so difficult to train mlecchas, fallen souls, devotional service in the age of kali. He said sometimes we know that the pure spirit soul, the pure the spirit soul, the jīva ātmā is pure, but simply covered by accumulation of dust of so many births. So we just have to cleanse off these contaminations, but sometimes I feel like I am cleaning a piece of coal, like you know just rubbing and rubbing, and all that comes off is black. It is really a lugged in the middle or something different, or it is going to be black straight through.

If we really felt the way Lord Caitanya advises us to feel, or ordered us to feel tṛṇād api sunīcena, more fallen than the straw in the street then what name could somebody call us which would be lower than what we should think we are, we should consciously feel so humble, how we forgotten Kṛṣṇa, how we have neglected serving Kṛṣṇa for so many millions of unlimited births, simply wallowed in the stool and urine of sense gratification, so we just consider ourselves lower than the straw in the street. So, if somebody says “You pig! You weep”, this or that, whatever they want to, but what can they say which would be worse than our own self estimation, no worse than that.

If we actually follow Caitanya Mahāprabhu’s instruction where is the question of false ego? Devotional service means that at the best we are on the platform of zero false ego. Any false ego is totally unacceptable. Rādhārāṇī is praying, “You can embrace me, you can stop me, you can do anything you want to me” If we say that nothing happens without Kṛṣṇa’s permission, and if Kṛṣṇa is permitting someone to call us butcher, or some dirty names, or to mistreat us, then we see that it is Kṛṣṇa doing. So, we don’t take out any offense on that person,

Haridāsa Ṭhākura is being whipped in twenty-two market places. He said, “These people are not responsible. Please forgive them. I am responsible, I have committed so many sins in my life, so many bad karmas, I deserved worse than this, I deserved that people mistreat me, call me names, spit on me, whip me, cut me,…. me, I deserve this.” That’s the attitude of these you know great devotees.

Of course, doesn’t mean that we wouldn’t defend ourselves if someone, if we had the opportunity. Haridāsa Ṭhākura also, when Jagāi Mādhāi were chasing, He ran for his life, later on, but he didn’t hold Jagāi and Mādhāi responsible, He didn’t become envious against Jagāi-Mādhāi even though they are so cruel against Him. Still Nitāi and Haridāsa wanted to deliver Jagāi and Mādhāi, they always kept a favourable mood. That’s what moved Jagāi, when he saw that even after Mādhāi beat Haridāsa, excuse me, beat Nityānanda prabhu, with a bottle on his head, and blood was flowing, even then Nityānanda didn’t become envious of Mādhāi, didn’t become angry, didn’t want to get vengeance, didn’t want to inflict a counter pain upon Mādhāi, didn’t become fearful, he was still emanating love.

Then Jagāi told Mādhāi, “Just lay off, He is not an ordinary person.” We may not be upto that standard. That’s not that it is going to be very easy, but if we are not we should be ashamed about it. We shouldn’t be proud about it. We shouldn’t take that a standard,

Just like a little child gets all upset because you know, “Daddy, this one called me a name.” and the parents say, “Oh doesn’t matter. Let it go.” But if someone starts to yell racial slurs, this or that, other…, civilized people they are ashamed by it, they feel this is sub-human, this is uncultured, this is not human, this is you know. they are not proud of that, they are not… A cultured person is not even… more disgusted or whatever. He does not, doesn’t take it seriously, these people are uncouth; a devotee is highest, to be a Vaiṣṇava, is the highest perfection, a Vaiṣṇava is greater than a brāhmaṇa, greater than the Devas. If you want to become a Vaiṣṇava, you want to be a Vaiṣṇava, then all the test that Māyā throws at us, all the different test on our false ego, we have to pass them, otherwise at the time of death, we may fail the final test. Over some silly thing. Instead of remembering Kṛṣṇa, we will die thinking, “I am gonna get that guy” or “How could he say that to me?” or some foolish thing, instead of that how this material world is such a sticky place, and how wonderful it would be to be with Kṛṣṇa, and that all this is just symptomatic of the material world and this is just to propel me in the arms of Kṛṣṇa!

Prabhupāda said, “This world is no place for a gentlemen or a gentlewoman. No gentlemen or lady would like to stay in this material world, it’s not a place. People act in horrendous ways in the material world. But then in the spiritual world, everyone is a perfect gentleman, perfect gentle lady, perfect person, none of these things exists. If you want to be on the spiritual platform, then we have to transcend the false ego.

In Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam when Jaḍa Bharataa was conscripted to carry the palanquin of the King Rahūgaṇa, and that he was trying to avoid stepping on the ants, because he knew this was a bad karma, he didn’t want to commit any sin, but he was stepping out of pace with the rest of the people carrying the palanquin, the King Rahūgaṇa started to chastise him, “You fat soul, you fat slob, what you are doing, you don’t know how to walk properly, straying at times, the whole palanquin is jerking around, what do you think you…”, he started like criticizing, So, then Jaḍa Bharata, he just replied you know, “I am neither fat nor skinny, I am neither you know stupid or bright, I am neither this or that. Because I am not this body, this body is just you know…” Then he gives a, you know, giving a whole philosophical treatise.

So, then Rahūgaṇa understood this isn’t just some coolie, some kind of you know porter I picked up off the street. This is some kind of sage or ṛṣi, or some intellectual, who knows the, who is a self-realized soul. So, immediately he said, “Stop, brake, you know lower me down, put the palanquin on the ground.” he gets off and he pays his obeisances to Jaḍa Bharata and he says, “Who are you? Please forgive if I have committed any offense. Who are you? You are speaking like a very learned paṇḍita, like someone who has got some spiritual knowledge.” And then in this way, the whole discussion came. So that’s the standard of self-realization.

Jaḍa Bharata was criticised, and his only defence was that, “Whatever you are saying, I am none of these things. Because I am not this body, I am not this mind, I am the pure spirit soul.”

So, practically it becomes for a spiritual master intolerable or almost impossible to deal with situations, where people take that self-interest and false ego is the norm, it is the acceptable standard. It is alright to have a certain amount of false ego, and if somebody steps on the false ego more than their acceptable limit, then it’s alright to respond also on the material platform. But where is that anywhere in Kṛṣṇa consciousness? We are not supposed to get offended if somebody addresses us on some material platform. We are supposed to get angry if they offend a guru or if they offend Kṛṣṇa. Instead what happens, if somebody attacks us in some way, we end up offending the guru. Maybe we will get so affected we will stop chanting our rounds, or we will stop doing our devotional service. This is symptomatic to what we consider as a neophyte devotee.

As Śrīla Prabhupāda said, “Unless we have mature devotees, devotees who are learned in the philosophy, the future of our movement is very dim and end up with some substandard leader, substandard devotees who will not be able to present this highest philosophy, Lord Caitanya’s philosophy, we are very proud, this is the highest presentation of pure love of Kṛṣṇa., If we can’t get above the platform of false ego, how we are going to be able to realize this philosophy and how we are going to be able to preach? How we are going to able to practice it?

So, in our daily activities, we are always being tested.

They are actual but we always say, “Well this person has…. The real conflict is that there is that somebody has a desire to do something to Kṛṣṇa, and the other person obstructs him in doing that. This is the only kind of reasonable problem that can arise, and therefore, ultimately if the two are not able to help each other in doing devotional services, then they have to be re-located, but all the other difficulties that come up from engaging in prajalpa, these are completely substandard.

So when we read this, hear these verses from Caitanya Mahāprabhu - but He is so ashamed over His lapses of pure devotion, what He considers a lapse in pure devotion like being able to live without seeing Kṛṣṇa, His standard is that if you think of Kṛṣṇa and you are not able to see Kṛṣṇa, and if you have pure love, you should immediately die in separation, anything less than that is not the highest level of pure devotion. So, He is ashamed over not having that level of devotion.

So, if we follow Lord Caitanya’s footstep, then we should all be you know quite ashamed. He further elaborates not only that, but when I am bathing, when I am eating, when I am taking care of my body, at that time I am not necessarily thinking about Kṛṣṇa in that highest level of separation. So, how is it possible that I have pure love? If I had pure love, really pure love, then all times I would be thinking only of Kṛṣṇa. I wouldn’t have even time think of my body. It is interesting, that Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura apparently one time made a comment that “What I think about you know, I have to brush my teeth, or take a bath, that’s when I am off, I have fallen down from the level of separation from Kṛṣṇa, I have come down you know, to the mood of goodness.” We are so much in passion and ignorance, that if we remember to brush our teeth and take a bath, we are doing great, we are getting out of ignorance and out of passion, and we may at least clean. But the great ācāryas, they will be so absorbed in the love of Kṛṣṇa, in their separation for the Lord, that when their meditation would break, when they would come out of that ecstasy, then they think, “Oh, now I have to brush my teeth.” That would be you know the lowest level of consciousness, and for us practically it is one of the higher levels of the day. So actually, although devotional service may appear very very far from us, if we can focus on it, if we can understand what it is, and if we desire it, then by the mercy of Lord Caitanya Mahāprabhu we can get it. Even now we can feel it, but if we don’t focus, if we don’t understand, and instead if we think that somehow or another we are just going to the mechanical processes of certain aspects of sādhana-bhakti, and then holding on to you know, large amounts of false ego, lot of self-interest, which is not dovetailed to Kṛṣṇa consciousness etc. etc., we are not going to get to ecstasy in devotional service, we are not going to get love of Kṛṣṇa, which means that the danger of being more and more attached to the material sense gratification we have is there.

So at least we should be ashamed about it that I don’t have that devotion. We should be ashamed about that. We should try to serve devotees that have more devotion; perform our devotional service in such a way that we can improve our devotion, we should definitely therefore accept, so third way, or tenth way level of devotion as something to not be ashamed of. Lord Caitanya here is saying, that just like a white cloth and with a little black spot is prominent, that’s the standard, we should actually be having a white cloth, and then trying to eliminate all the little black spots. But our false ego is so thick that we got a black spot and we see a little devotional quality, and a little white strap, “Look and see, I am such a pure devotee, I am doing this service”, the whole, rest of the cloth may be black. But what Prabhupāda wanted was we all have white clothes, and then he was always working on those black spots that are still there. Sometimes it is very frustrating when you talk with devotees, who are obviously filled with defects, but they cannot see their own defects, they cannot recognize it, they don’t want to hear it, their mind goes blank when we start to pointed out, “You have the defects that you need to work on it.

Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura told a kind of humorous story about this kind of person. He said, “Once there was a landlord, big landlords, example, those times it was the British rule. There were many lords. The British were ruling through these landlords and the kings. So, anyway, there was a landlord and he had a servant, and this servant was one of these kind of guys that was never wrong, Is there a cliché for ‘never wrong people’.

(speaks aside) yea like a know-it-all or never-wrong.

So, many times he would make mistakes where people would say, “Look at this, this is probably a mistake, or this is a problem.” Then he has always got the answer for everything. He says, “Oh no, it is not my fault, this other guy is a problem, he did it, I didn’t do, this thing…: what’s truly good you just don’t know. Something he would always have the last word. So everybody was just already disgusted with this guy. Somehow he is going out of the service. So one day, the landlord personally asked him to do something and he came back and he completely messed it up. It was like a complete disaster.

He told him, “Look at this, this is not correct. You should have done it like this.” And he starts to do the same thing with him. He says, “No, it's not like that. It's actually, you didn't explain to me properly, and this thing wasn't right and that thing is not me” it's everything else, right?

And the landlord said, you know, he said, you know, “This guy is never gonna learn if he can't see his mistake. I ain't gonna be able to get proper service out of him unless he can realize his own mistakes. You can never improve. if you can't see your own errors. So he took the time to explain to him.

He says, “You're wrong. It's your mistake. It was your duty. You had to do it. It's not anybody else's fault.” He said, “No, no, I wasn’t wrong.” And he said, “I was not wrong.” Then the law in those days was futile in India, you know. So the Lord was like, you know, he was the judge, magistrate, police, everything. He said, “You were wrong.” He said, “I was not wrong. You are wrong. I am not wrong”

“Oh, yeah? I'm gonna prove it.” Then he took his you know, they took me so I know. So then the landlord said, “okay. Further guys better I have to punish him. This is the only way he is going to learn.”

So, then he started beating him with the stick, brum, brum, and the guy said,”Haa… Haa…. Can you kill me. Can you ha ha ha..” It is like no matter what, he is always right. He was like, “I didn’t.” What a whim. The guy couldn’t even hit me you know. So then…”Get some more” wah, poh. He was beating phow phow, and this guy would just not give in no matter how…. even actually really is in, but he has got such an ego. He won't admit it. So that was, “Well, this is not getting anywhere. I gotta break this guy's false ego somehow.” And then the guy is, he is also getting kinda of like, you know, injured there by this whole exercise. But he still is my one, such a weak hit, you know, it's like, the sunscreen, you know, bad, like, but the guy, it's nothing, you know. So then, the man left, you know, “This guy is a real case.” That guy doesn't even care for his son, then he, but then he said, then the wife came in to plead, stop beating the son, he didn’t do anything. And then the guy told, “But you cannot beat my wife but then last night, hit a woman. He wasn't going to go to the head and I got to beat someone's wife, you know.

So then he saw the land over was….. So, you know, they can't even hit my wife. You know? It's like and then he just, like, start so with this the person was, like, completely irrational, he would just never accept that he was wrong. And so Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Ṭhākura said that there are some people like that, you try their, they try their, someone tries to instruct them, tries to correct them, tries to show them how they can help themselves, how they can improve themselves, but they will never see their own personal defect.

Even if it causes their own destruction, if it causes destruction of their family, their friends, or anyone, but they just will not accept that they could be wrong. And we see some people like that. And just because of fault, they could just humbly say, “I am sorry. I made a mistake.” But because they insist that they didn't do anything wrong, they didn't make any mistake, they could never be wrong. As everybody else they become so intolerable that ultimately they cannot stay in the society of devotees.

And even then they think, “It's not my fault, it's everybody else's fault, why I am I not in the society of devotees? It's the President's fault, it’s the guru's fault, ultimately it's Kṛṣṇa's fault, it’s everybody's wrong, even God is wrong, I am the only one that's right. “Why do we say that? People say, “Why Kṛṣṇa is doing this to me?” Right?

“I am not wrong. God is wrong.” Right? They go to the point that even Kṛṣṇa is wrong. They never see that I must have committed some bad karma, I must have got something to deserve this because Kṛṣṇa is never wrong. So there are people like that and we don't want to become one of them for sure, nobody should even you know become close to them, because those people are like really hopeless cases, they are just headed to their own self destruction until they get out of that.

And finally what that landlord did? Māyā is going to kick and kick until some thousands of lives down the road, however long it takes, eventually, they will maybe crack and start to think that maybe, “Maybe I'm responsible for my own suffering.” And that's what we have to realize, we are responsible for the suffering that we bring upon, we bring it upon ourselves, either by our immediate action or by our previous activities that we perform. There is nobody who is responsible for the suffering we get except ourselves. That is the ultimate realization we have to come to.

Then we are free from this tendency to offend others to the greatest degree. We have to desire the love of Kṛṣṇa. We have to desire so much that we just transcend this false ego. Unfortunately, this Caitanya-caritāmṛta is so elevated, that actually we haven't realized the basic teachings Kṛṣṇa has given us in the Bhagavad-gītā, to be full in fame and infamy, be tolerant. Any difficulty comes up, we become immediately enraged.

But here in these verses, we can understand that if we actually would purify ourselves and practice the philosophy Kṛṣṇa has taught us in Bhagavad-gītā, then we could achieve his love of Kṛṣṇa by his mercy.

śuddha-prema-sukha-sindhu, pāi tāra eka bindu,
sei bindu jagat ḍubāya
kahibāra yogya naya, tathāpi bāule kaya,
kahile vā kebā pātiyāya
(Caitanya-caritāmṛta 2.49)

Translation: “Unalloyed love of Kṛṣṇa is like an ocean of happiness. If someone gets one drop of it, the whole world can drown in that drop. It is not befitting to express such love of Godhead, yet a madman must speak. However even though he speaks, no one believes him.”

ei mata dine dine, svarūpa-rāmānanda-sane,
nija-bhāva karena vidita
bāhye viṣa-jvālā haya, bhitare ānanda-māyā,
kṛṣṇa-premāra adbhuta carita
(Caitanya-caritāmṛta 2.50)

Translation: In this way, Lord Caitanya used to revel in ecstasy day after day, and exhibit these ecstasies before Svarūpa and Rāmānanda Rāya. Externally there appeared severe tribulation, as if He were suffering from poisonous effects, but internally He was experiencing bliss. This is the characteristic of transcendental love of Kṛṣṇa.

Jayapatākā Swami: The wonderful characteristic of transcendental love of Kṛṣṇa.

So while Lord Caitanya is expressing all the shame and humility of not having love for Kṛṣṇa, then he is actually feeling internally so much bliss and love of Kṛṣṇa. If we can get one drop of it, paitam eka bindu, if we get one drop of that love of Kṛṣṇa, which is like an ocean of transcendental ecstasy. In one drop, it is said the whole world can be completely submerged. We may have a world of attachment, a universe of material considerations and anxieties, but if we could get one drop of love of Kṛṣṇa and flood the whole thing, the whole universe can flood in one drop from the ocean of love of Kṛṣṇa

And Lord Caitanya, He is completely swimming in the whole ocean. He is drinking the ocean of nectar.

ei premā-āsvādana, tapta-ikṣu-carvaṇa,
mukha jvale, nā yāya tyajana
sei premā yāṅra mane, tāra vikrama sei jāne,
viṣāmṛte ekatra milana

Translation: If one tastes such love of Godhead, he can compare it to hot sugarcane. When one chews hot sugarcane, his mouth burns, yet he cannot give it up. Similarly, if one has but a little love of Godhead, he can perceive its powerful effects. It can only be compared to poison and nectar mixed together.

pīḍābhir nava-kāla-kūṭa-kaṭutā-garvasya nirvāsano
nisyandena mudāṁ sudhā-madhurimāhaṅkāra-saṅkocanaḥ
premā sundari nanda-nandana-paro jāgarti yasyāntare
jñāyante sphuṭam asya vakra-madhurās tenaiva vikrāntayaḥ

Lord Caitanya Mahāprabhu spoke, “My dear beautiful friend, if one develops love of Godhead, love of Kṛṣṇa, the son of Nanda Mahārāja, all the bitter and sweet influences of this love will manifest in one’s heart. Such love of Godhead acts in two ways. The poisonous effects of love of Godhead defeat the severe and fresh poison of the serpent. Yet there is simultaneously transcendental bliss, which pours down and defeats the pride of nectar and diminishes its value. In other words, love of Kṛṣṇa is so powerful that it simultaneously defeats the poisonous effects of a snake, as well as the happiness derived from pouring nectar on one’s head. It is perceived as doubly effective, simultaneously poisonous and nectarine.’”

Purport: This verse is spoken by Paurṇamāsī to Nāndīmukhī in the Vidagdha-mādhava (2.18) of Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī.

Jayapatākā Swami: Feeling separation from the Lord is just like poison, but somehow at the same time He is feeling that separation. One is simultaneously expression transcendental bliss, which is like unlimited nectar. So, this inconceivable feeling of poison and nectar, just like, you see the face of Śrīla Prabhupāda and those who are personally able to know Śrīla Prabhupāda, No, it doesn’t mean only those who personally saw him, but know him by many names, but those who are able to know Śrīla Prabhupāda they could see that when Prabhupāda was in ecstasy, he would have very grave smile, his mouth would be you know, grave, but at the same time, just now, it wasn’t that he was sad, it wasn’t that you know some kind of material, it was something completely different. He was like experiencing simultaneously some conflicting emotions which are not of this world, and one could understand that he was the most happy person you ever met although he was looking very grave.

Hare Kṛṣṇa, Hare Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa, Hare Hare
Hare Rāma, Hare Rāma, Rāma Rāma, Hare Hare

**GM started singing of mahā-mantra kīrtana, from 42:08minutes to 50:03minutes**

Nitāi-Gaura Hari Bol,

Kīrtana starts Jaya Prabhupāda Jaya Prabhupāda Jaya Prabhupāda Jaya Prabhupāda

Śrīla Prabhupāda kī jaya! (Devotee says jaya)

Prema dhvani starts….
Nitāi-Gaura Premānande (Jai)

Verified by:Sadānanda Kṛṣṇaprema dāsa