Questions And Answers: Varṇāśrama / Brahmacārī

After finishing studies, what āśrama should I take? Should I be a gṛhastha or join the temple?
Questioner: Devotee
Date: 2024-02-20
Jayapatākā Swami: Śrīla Prabhupāda said that if someone thought whether I should be a gṛhastha or a brahmacārī,
being a brahmacārī is a difficult proposition.
If they think that let me try being a brahmacārī for some time that is one thing.
But now when you are studying to think immediately after studies should I be a brahmacārī or a gṛhastha, how is that possible?
Śrīla Prabhupāda said that you need to be determined and firm to become a brahmacārī.
This is called bṛhad-vrata.
I see some devotees stay as a brahmacārī for five years and after that discuss with the guru what should I do.
When I joined the movement, I was only 19 years. The temple president’s wife in the temple I was in told me that if you want to go back to Godhead, you should become a gṛhastha.
Then I went to Śrīla Prabhupāda and asked him, “What should I do?” I did not think that at this age I want to be a gṛhastha.
Śrīla Prabhupāda said, “You be a brahmacārī for 25 years and after that discuss with your guru and he will decide.”
Śrīla Prabhupāda gave me sannyāsa when I was 21 years old.
Now I have completed 50 years of sannyāsa.
Anyway, from 25 to 30 one should think,
if they think that which āśrama they will be stronger in. In the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam there is the Gajendra-mokṣa episode
where Gajendra is the king of elephants.
He was fighting with the king of crocodiles in the water.
The fight went on for many days.
Because elephant is a land animal
and crocodile is a water animal
and is in the water,
the crocodile is having some more strength.
Gajendra understood that I am slowly getting weak.
In the purport Śrīla Prabhupāda said we should see in which situation will we be stronger to serve Kṛṣṇa.
Being a gṛhastha or a brahmacārī, we have to think.
But why should you do it right now?
You have to make up your mind that some days I will be a brahmacārī and then will think.
But if someone thinks that I will be stronger as a gṛhastha,
the purpose is that we should do service to Kṛṣṇa.
Then it is advisable to get married to a Kṛṣṇa conscious girl.
Many non-devotee girls will say, “I will eat veg.”
There was a case in Māyāpur.
The devotee after discussion with me, married a non-devotee.
They had a child
and then the girl started eating nonveg.
The devotee said, “You promised that you will not eat nonveg.”
The girl said, “You know what family I come from,
I was trying
but I cannot.
I will eat chicken.”
One thing is that I will not be a brahmacārī, I will be a gṛhastha. And then being a gṛhastha, you have to be in such a situation that you can be Kṛṣṇa conscious.
If you get married to a non-devotee, then there will be lot of inconvenience.
Anyway, stay a brahmacārī till the age of about 25 and then after that decide.
Hare Kṛṣṇa!
Category: [Emotions / Confusion], [Varṇāśrama / Brahmacārī], [Varṇāśrama / Gṛhastha]
Can a gṛhastha devotee serve Kṛṣṇa like a brahmacārī?
Questioner: Devotee
Date: 2022-08-27
Jayapatākā Swami: You see it depends on one’s nature.
In the 8th canto of the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam,
there is fight between the king of the elephants and the king of the crocodiles.
So the fight was in the water.
At one point, the elephant felt that he was losing.
Because he is a land animal,
and he was in the water.
But the crocodile is a water animal.
So somehow or another he was in his elements, so he was stronger.
In the purport Śrīla Prabhupāda says that we should see what is our nature.
That in every situation, we want to fight against māyā.
So, if your nature is more vairāgya, then you can be a brahmacārī for a long time.
If your nature is more gṛhastha,
then you may be in that āśrama.
But then it is important to have a devotee wife.
So that both of you can fight against māyā as a team,
to serve Kṛṣṇa.
If the lady is simply māyā,
then that will not be very convenient.
It is very important to marry a Kṛṣṇa conscious lady,
if you want to have a gṛhastha-āśrama.
Of course, having a household means you have to work.
Unless you have a service at the temple, you have to spend some time earning money.
So it is little more of a balancing act.
Being a brahmacārī has certain advantages – you don’t have these responsibilities.
But again, you have to see what your nature is.
If your nature is such that you have to be a gṛhastha,
then you should try to find a devotee mate.
See how you can do your devotional service together.
Unfortunately, people when they look for a mate, they look for a nice face!
But actually, you have to deal with the mind.
So you should see that they are Kṛṣṇa conscious.
One boy, he married a non-devotee,
he was asked by his parents.
She was a non-veg,
but she promised I will be a vegetarian.
After they had a baby,
she started eating chicken.
Then he said, “You promised you will be a vegetarian!”
She said, “I promised,
I tried,
I was a vegetarian for a year.
You know what background I came from –
sorry, I have to eat
meat!”
So, better to have a devotee from the beginning.
So at least there is less maintenance.
Marriage is two people.
You have to have the other person on the same wavelength.
As brahmacārīs, when you are staying in the āśrama, there are some crazy people also.
So there are ups and downs in both sides.
Brahmacārīs, you don’t have responsibilities, so you can serve Kṛṣṇa 24 hours.
But gṛhasthas can also do a lot of service.
So if they make money, they can give some money to the temple.
Or they can do various preaching.
We want people to serve Kṛṣṇa,
no matter what they are.
Category: [Varṇāśrama], [Varṇāśrama / Brahmacārī], [Varṇāśrama / Gṛhastha], [Day-to-day Life / Married life], [Sādhanā / Sevā]
How to remain steady in brahmacārī-āśrama?
Questioner: Devotee
Date: 2022-08-27
Jayapatākā Swami: The secret is to always stay busy in Kṛṣṇa’s service.
Mana, kāya, vākya –
we want our deeds, our words and our thoughts to be absorbed in Kṛṣṇa.
If we can engage our intelligence how to expand the preaching,
or how to improve our service,
that is the best way.
If we allow the mind to drift on to the objects of the senses,
then naturally we become distracted.
So somehow, it is important to have a service,
you like to do.
That you can be fully absorbed in.
Śrīla Prabhupāda gave me a lot of very absorbing services.
And so that kept me busy, out of māyā.
So the devotee who gives you service should see that you are fully engaged.
If you are not fully engaged,
tell them, because you need to be fully engaged to be free of māyā.
As they say, idle mind is a devil’s workshop.
If the mind is idle,
if we are not fully fixed in our service,
then the mind will start to think about māyā.
Bhakti-yoga means to be fully absorbed in Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
Hare Kṛṣṇa!
Category: [Varṇāśrama], [Varṇāśrama / Brahmacārī], [Emotions / Enthusiasm], [Sādhanā / Sevā]
Many devotees have a desire to join ISKCON full time and dedicate their lives for Śrīla Prabhupāda. However, because of the situations in the world or in the family or personal life, they are sometimes on the borderline wondering whether I should or I should not. So what is your message to them Mahārāja so that they can freely develop that faith and courage that if I simply serve Kṛṣṇa and Śrīla Prabhupāda, nothing else is to be taken care, everything Kṛṣṇa will help. Can you give them that courage and help? Hare Kṛṣṇa!
Questioner: Devotee
Date: 2023-12-05
Jayapatākā Swami: As the co-minister for congregational preaching,
naturally I would like to see
not only the temple devotees but other devotees who are in congregations,
that they are all working to help the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement.
And of course, when I joined there was really only – either you are a temple devotee or you are …!
I don’t think it is like that now.
You be a temple devotee or a married devotee or whatever,
you can still help, you can still be a very significant force.
I mean, the person who is repeating me,
his name is Acintya Caitanya dāsa,
he is a gṛhastha.
His wife is very active in preaching.
He has two sons.
One of them is already very fixed up in book distribution.
In 1973 in the lecture that Śrīla Prabhupāda gave at his Vyāsa-pūjā in London,
he said that his guru, Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura who was the son of Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura,
and he wanted all the gṛhastha devotees that you should have ācāryas as your children.
You should all become paramahaṁsas.
So, rather than thinking this devotee can become a full-timer, others too bad!
Use everybody,
naturally I was a full-timer and the advantage that I have is can give all my time to Kṛṣṇa.
But, there is a lecture by Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura
where he says that a man should accept a wife who is more spiritual advanced
and a woman should accept a husband who is more spiritual advanced.
That is not what people look at today.
They see if she is a beautiful woman,
what education she has
and other things.
But spiritual advancement, we don’t think about that.
But that is the thing that Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura said.
In the 8th canto of the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam,
there is the fight between Gajendra and the crocodile.
Because Gajendra was a land animal,
when he was in the water,
the crocodile was winning
and gradually the elephant was getting weaker.
So in the purport, Śrīla Prabhupāda said
that Kṛṣṇa consciousness means
we are declaring war against material nature
and to fight in the war,
one needs to be very strong,
sensually strong.
It is not the same for everyone.
Someone may be better as a vairāgī,
someone may be stronger as a gṛhastha.
The real thing is that we should be fighting to establish Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
So, maybe people are sitting on the fence,
they should see what is their nature?
So they should think whatever it is, if their nature is to be married, or their nature is to be a vairāgī,
they should fully engage in Kṛṣṇa’s service.
If they are married, their partner should be equally enthusiastic to preach,
otherwise what is the use?
That is an interesting thing.
Of course, if you want your parents and everyone to agree,
it may happen.
But in my case it did not happen
and I said yesterday in my talk that my father said he would turn me over to the American Army,
and let me die in Vietnam.
India was not for this war.
And so I asked Śrīla Prabhupāda, “What I should do?”
He said, “Better you join Kṛṣṇa’s army”
and that is what I did.
I am still a member of Kṛṣṇa’s army!
So here, I have seen many families, where the father and mother are initiated, the children are initiated.
But, still I guess they are a minority.
But in India some are like that.
But generally, it is like one airliner crashed in the Northern Pacific.
One who passed, the parents said, “Oh, we spent so much money on our son trying to go to America for education,
now who will take care of us in our old age?”
That was their concern!
You see, it is like a business,
they paid for the education of their child,
and they want the child to give them money.
So some parents are like that.
Some parents are very affectionate,
I don’t say everyone is like that.
I mean, of course, some people would feel very bad.
But ultimately, we have to make our own choice.
This is like, mother and father of Lord Caitanya, Jagannātha Miśra and Śacī Mātā,
the older brother of Lord Caitanya,
He took sannyāsa.
They were feeling, “Oh!” rejected.
“Our son, He left the family and would not get married and all that.”
Because of your son taking sannyāsa, unlimited members of your family got liberated.
Of course, they were all liberated souls.
And they realized that what he did was for their benefit.
But then they were worried that their other son would also take sannyāsa.
So He promised,
“I have no such intention!”
Anyway, I hope that everybody in this room, no matter what, are going to preach Kṛṣṇa consciousness fully.
How old are you?
73 years (Ṣaḍbhuja Prabhu)
So what do you want to share with all these young leaders?
He helped build this Temple of the Vedic Planetarium!
Ṣaḍbhuja Prabhu: Looking around me here seeing all these wonderful, young devotees, fresh looking actually,
reminds me when I was young, but not anymore!
All I can say to them is that you just practice Kṛṣṇa consciousness to the best of your ability.
Some of you will be temple devotees, some of you will be gṛhasthas on the outskirts,
but still under one umbrella of Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
So whichever works for you in the beginning accept it.
In the future, you probably will all be in the temples,
but for now just don’t let go of Kṛṣṇa consciousness at all.
Stick to this wonderful program that you are having
and continue preaching and spreading Kṛṣṇa consciousness just like Mahārāja said.
Hare Kṛṣṇa!
Jayapatākā Swami: Ṣaḍbhuja Prabhu, he is a gṛhastha,
but has dedicated his life for Kṛṣṇa consciousness
and you can see
what a beautiful building this is.
He has done many services.
And if you have seen the samādhi temple
he has designed some of the artwork of the samādhi temple.
He was the builder of the samādhi.
So, the question is not if you join full-time or you get married.
Even if you are married, you should not give up Kṛṣṇa consciousness
and the advantage of course of being a brahmacārī or whatever,
is that you don’t have any other thing
to think about.
But as I said,
it depends on what each person’s nature is, it may be different.
We should be committed to serving,
no matter what.
Category: [Emotions / Faith], [Gauḍīya History / ISKCON], [Sādhanā / Sevā], [Varṇāśrama / Brahmacārī]
What is more important for a Vaiṣṇava? To remain a brahmacāri or to beget a child?
Questioner: Devotee
Date: 2022-12-09
Of course more important.
It’s an individual situation.
Individual.
Prabhupāda explains in the 8th Canto Bhāgavatam that we have to work from wherever our position of strength is.
The example that’s said,
the elephant was fighting against the crocodile.
But the crocodile and elephant were in the water.
So the elephant was becoming weaker,
and the crocodile was becoming stronger.
So the elephant was getting to not able to fight.
So he start to pray to Kṛṣṇa to help.
So in this verse Prabhupāda explains that the devotees should be physically,
mentally,
and spiritually strong.
And it gets to be a bit of an energy drain.
In other words,
for them,
the mind is being distracted that a lot by different thoughts.
So it’s a constant thing that a person has to work at.
Of course,
everyone can do it,
but it seems to be like an energy drain,
or possibly one will be more peaceful and productive in a family situation.
So basically it depends upon each individual.
Generally our program is that people should first of all practise the brahmacārī life as far as possible,
and become strong,
and after some time,
then the Spiritual master and the senior Vaiṣṇavas,
they can help to advice one,
whether they should enter into the gṛhastha-āśrama,
whether they should try to remain in the brahmacārī ashram for some more time,
or in some cases,
whether,
rarely,
someone should take sannyāsa.
Category: [Varṇāśrama / Brahmacārī], [Varṇāśrama], [Sādhanā / Philosophical questions], [Day-to-day Life / Children], [Varṇāśrama / Gṛhastha]
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