Question: Sometimes it happens that when we are practicing Kṛṣṇa consciousness our parents are fearful that we will renounce everything and they don’t want to allow us to proceed further. How should we deal with our parents in that condition?

Author: Devotee
Date: 2023-10-29
Jayapatākā Swami: Every parent is different.
I thought that my parents would be very happy when I came to Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
But my mother and father were not happy.
My father he said, “You should completely give up Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
Otherwise, I will send you to Vietnam to die there.”
But I thought my father will be happy.
But he was very ugra!
My mother, she came up and talked to me.
My mother came to India two times.
Anyways I asked Śrīla Prabhupāda, “My father, he wants to send me to Vietnam to serve the American army.
What should I do?”
Śrīla Prabhupāda said, “Better you join Kṛṣṇa’s Army!”
So I am a member of Kṛṣṇa’s army ever since.
After eight years my father changed.
He said, “A son is a son, father is a father!”
On his deathbed he was talking to the priest, and he was talking about me.
So, it is not very difficult, I think the Indian parents are very affectionate towards their children.
So, there are different things that you can do.
Once my mother appreciated what I was doing.
She went and talked to other mothers and fathers.
It was not so bad your son is a part of the Hare Kṛṣṇa movement.
So the parents do not like to hear from the children.
But you should have some people of the same age talking to them.
Category: [Day-to-day Life / Parents]

Related Questions

As per guru and śāstra, women are to serve their husbands and children devotedly. However, the ultimate goal of life (kṛṣṇa-prema) requires a lot of sādhanā. Will serving the family become an obstacle towards the goal? Also, how can women go back to Godhead in one lifetime?
Questioner: Harshita Sharma
Date: 2022-10-04
Jayapatākā Swami: Lord Caitanya advised that we should do yukta-vairāgya.
Everything we do, we do as an offering to Kṛṣṇa.
So, ideally the wife can marry a devotee of Kṛṣṇa.
Just by assisting him,
she is also directly doing devotional service.
If she is not so fortunate to have a devotee,
she can also try to bring up her children in Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
She can offer bhoga to the Deities
and take prasāda and give prasāda to the family.
There are different ways one can engage in devotional service.
I had the good fortune of visiting many gṛhastha families,
seeing how they have Deities,
how they are offering the bhoga,
offering āratī to the deities.
Some people have picture altars,
some have Deities.
So, we are seeing how the families are spreading Kṛṣṇa consciousness,
how they are practicing.
This is the way that one can achieve success in this lifetime.
Category: [Day-to-day Life / Married life], [Day-to-day Life / Parents], [Sādhanā / Philosophical questions], [Sādhanā / Sevā], [Varṇāśrama / Gṛhastha], [Women]
Do we, as dutiful parents, try to acquire material assets for our child or do we leave it their karma?
Questioner: Ānandamayī Gopīnātha dāsa
Date: 2022-09-22
Jayapatākā Swami: It costs money for higher education.
Basically, you want to equip your child to deal with this world.
But the most important thing,
the real duty of a parent,
is to promote the child’s affection for Kṛṣṇa.
At the same time, basic education and things,
parents should take care of.
Not just make a lot of money and give it to the child.
Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī, he divided his wealth - 25%
for emergencies,
25% for his family,
for his children
and 50% for Kṛṣṇa’s bhaktas.
Haribol!
Category: [Day-to-day Life / Children], [Day-to-day Life / Parents], [Sādhanā / Technicalities]
Generally, there is a thought among devotees that kids who are devotees by birth never take Kṛṣṇa consciousness so seriously. What should we do as parents to make our kids as genuine devotees?
Questioner: Apūrva Mādhurya Rādhā devī dāsī
Date: 2023-01-20
Jayapatākā Swami: I don’t know if that is true.
If the parents are serious, usually the children are serious.
They did a study in the USA, and the found that parents who were serious, their children were also serious.
Then they found that if one parent was serious and one parent was lax, then 50/50.
When both parents were lax, sometimes the children became devotees.
What do you think? You are a parent, you have a kid and if the parents are serious, the children will not become devotees?
Of course, devotional service is voluntary.
I have many gṛhastha disciples and their children are usually Kṛṣṇa conscious.
But you cannot neglect your child.
Category: [Day-to-day Life / Children], [Day-to-day Life / Parents]
How do we overcome the bondage of material relationships? Why is it sometimes so difficult to overcome family attachment even after chanting the holy names?
Questioner: Jānakī Śantirūpā devī dāsī
Date: 2022-09-22
Category: [Day-to-day Life / Children], [Day-to-day Life / Married life], [Day-to-day Life / Parents], [Day-to-day Life / Relatives], [Material World]
How should a mother deal with a growing son who is in his teen-age?
Questioner: Rahita Sivalingam
Date: 2023-01-27
Jayapatākā Swami: Cāṇakya Paṇḍita, he said that for the first five years, you should let the kids do whatever they want, more or less.
From 6 to 15 be very strict with the children.
And 16 up, be like a friend and try to convince them the right thing to do.
But as a friend.
That is what Cāṇakya Paṇḍita said.
But you can talk to the Youth-Minister in Māyāpur,
he may have more experience, you can talk to him, Manorāma dāsa.
Category: [Day-to-day Life], [Day-to-day Life / Children], [Day-to-day Life / Parents]
My parents are forcing me to eat meat against my will. What should I do?
Questioner: Misha Kasmagar, Russia
Date: 2022-10-05
Jayapatākā Swami: Why they don’t want you to be vegetarian?
Maybe if you can prove to them that the proteins and the vitamins that you need
from different vegetarian items.
Category: [Day-to-day Life / Children], [Day-to-day Life / Food], [Day-to-day Life / Parents], [Emotions / Stress/Anxiety], [Sādhanā / Regulative Principles]
Scripture says that a mother who gives birth to a Kṛṣṇa conscious child is glorious. But what if the child falls away from Kṛṣṇa consciousness later in life?
Questioner: Kaivalya Sundarī devī dāsī
Date: 2022-10-05
Jayapatākā Swami: Well there is no loss for the parents.
But as Śrīla Bhaktisiddānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura said,
if every child could be a devotee,
he would be a gṛhastha and have a hundred children.
There is no guarantee,
you can try your best
and hopefully they will become devotees.
I advise you to pray to the deities to have a Kṛṣṇa conscious child, Kṛṣṇa conscious, healthy, long lived, suputra.
Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura had one child who was His Divine Grace Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Prabhupāda Ṭhākura.
He had another child who was a lifelong brahmacārī –
Lalitā Prasāda Ṭhākura.
I think all of his children were devotees,
I don’t know about the other ones.
Jayapatākā Swami: It is said that if you have one child who is a Vaiṣṇava,
the mother is glorious,
the family is delivered.
If you have hundred children and none of them are devotees,
then they are considered like piglets.
But that doesn’t particularly reflect on the parents.
He didn’t say the parents are pigs.
He said, the children are like piglets.
Anyway, it is a heavy statement,
no doubt.
Category: [Day-to-day Life / Children], [Day-to-day Life / Parents], [Youth]
Some children like to do all the Kṛṣṇa conscious activities except chanting. How to handle this?
Questioner: Devotee
Date: 2022-09-08
Category: [Day-to-day Life / Children], [Day-to-day Life / Parents], [Emotions / Enthusiasm], [Emotions / Sloth], [Sādhanā / Chanting (Japa)]
Sometimes, children belonging to Kṛṣṇa conscious families are seen to take un-offered food and are oblivious to devotional service. Does their behavior influence the spiritual practices of their parents ?
Questioner: Devotee
Date: 2022-09-02
Jayapatākā Swami: One time, Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura said that he would indulge a 100-times in sex life if he knew that every time, he was guaranteed to have a Kṛṣṇa conscious child.
So therefore, every times your child will become a devotee, that is not guaranteed.
That is why we try
from the beginning we want a Kṛṣṇa conscious potential child.
So we pray to the Deities, we get the blessing of guru.
We do the garbhadāna-saṁskāra.
Then we also have to bring up the child with love and affection.
It is not an accident that they become a devotee.
They may get some special association of a pure devotee.
The parents naturally feel that they are very successful if the child becomes a devotee.
There is no śāstra that says if a child is not a devotee, that somehow affects the parents.
But the first five years of the child life, if they commit some sinful activities, then the parents have to take responsibility.
This was a curse given by a ṛṣi to Yamarāja so this thing was done in the universe.
Because when he was a little child, he poked an insect with a grass.
Category: [Anarthās / Māyā], [Day-to-day Life / Children], [Day-to-day Life / Parents]
Sometimes, even after giving all the love and philosophical teachings, the children still do not take to Kṛṣṇa consciousness. What is to be done?
Questioner: Bhagavān Dāmodara Kṛṣṇa dāsa
Date: 2022-09-08
Category: [Anarthās], [Anarthās / Bad association], [Day-to-day Life / Children], [Day-to-day Life / Parents], [Emotions / Confusion]
Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 1st Canto 6th chapter little boy before, Nārada was so detached by the devotees’ mercy, and he did not cry when his mother died. But myself I am so attached to my family, especially my mother, she is my home schoolteacher, all my family is helping me for devotional service. Is it okay to have attachment with parents?
Questioner: Ujjvala Nitāi dāsa, USA.
Date: 2022-01-05
Jayapatākā Swami: Since your mother, your family are helping you for your devotional services,
they are kind of vartma-pradarśaka or śikṣā-gurus.
And naturally one should feel grateful for their spiritual support and guidance.
It would be ok to have attachment for them,
as a spiritual expression.
Category: [Day-to-day Life / Parents]
We are living in times where there is very little Kṛṣṇa consciousness. How can we gift a spiritual environment to our daughter?
Questioner: Śrīnivāsa dāsa and Ratnāvalī devī dāsī
Date: 2022-09-02
Jayapatākā Swami: That is why we are trying to create this Kṛṣṇa conscious environment in Māyāpur.
And in different parts of the world, they are doing different things to give devotees, young children, a Kṛṣṇa conscious environment.
The CDM (Congregational Development Ministry) they have specially a program for children.
If you would like to be part of this initiative, please contact the CDM.
Category: [Day-to-day Life / Parents], [Day-to-day Life / Children], [Vaiṣṇava Dealings / Association (Sādhu-saṅga)]
What can we, as parents, do to make our children determined devotees like Dhruva Mahārāja?
Questioner: Ratikeli Rādhikā devī dāsī
Date: 2022-10-05
Jayapatākā Swami: Teach them by your example
and encourage them that anything they do in Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
Just like Śrīla Prabhupāda, his father gave him Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa small Deities to practice pūjā.
And also gave him a Jagannātha, Baladeva, Subhadrā ratha.
So he was happy to have this Kṛṣṇa conscious play.
Category: [Day-to-day Life / Children], [Day-to-day Life / Parents], [Emotions / Enthusiasm], [Kṛṣṇa (Godhead) / Pastimes], [Sādhanā / Sevā], [Vaiṣṇava Dealings], [Vaiṣṇava Dealings / Vaiṣṇava-qualities]
You many times talk about children in every class but when they are small, we can take care of them, chastise them and try to make them listen to us. But when they become youth what can we do as they do not listen.
Questioner: Devotee
Date: 2023-05-08
Jayapatākā Swami: Śrīla Prabhupāda was quoting Cāṇākya Paṇḍita,
up to five years of age, given them freedom, give them whatever they want.
Of course, within what is allowed.
Normally, whatever the child does till 5, the parents get the karma.
Then from 6 to 15, be strict.
But somehow in all this time, you get them also to be attached to Kṛṣṇa.
When they become 16 then treat them as a friend.
You preach to them, talk to them, help them to understand.
So we need to have different programs for different ages of children
for Kṛṣṇa conscious activities.
So the parents have to tell the youths about the facts of life.
Like this, there are different situations but in all the situation, the parents will have a good influence if they have develop a nice relationship with their children.
Category: [Day-to-day Life / Children], [Day-to-day Life / Parents], [Youth]
You mentioned that raising children is a service to Kṛṣṇa. How do we give children Kṛṣṇa consciousness in an age appropriate way? Sometimes I see parents drag children from program to program and the children over time they get saturated and leave. There are so many gṛhasthas here. Please guide us.
Questioner: Devotee
Date: 2023-04-10
Jayapatākā Swami: You see, the successful gṛhasthas may be able to guide the others.
I am a sannyāsī, I don’t claim to know how to bring up children!
But I know that it is an important service.
It should be done in such a way that the children are enthused.
I just talked to one wife, where is your husband?
She said, he is with my son in Vṛndāvana.
My son he likes hearing Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam class or something, he likes to hear śāstra so much that he extending his visit for one week.
So, obviously we should encourage the children to want to do devotional service.
Now what is the secret? I don’t think there is any monopoly
but there is no guarantee that every child will be a pure devotee.
But if you do the garbhādāna-saṁskāra, do all the saṁsakāras, we give nice association, set good examples, then there is hope.
Advaita Gosāñi had six sons
and three sons were pure devotees.
Three sons were not pure devotees.
Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura, had many children.
One was an ācārya,
one was a naiṣṭhika-brahmacārī.
I don’t know everyone, what happened to the others.
Anyway, Now I have to end the class and you should all go and take your breakfast.
But if you try that your child be Kṛṣṇa consciousness then Kṛṣṇa will be appreciative.
I saw in New Tālavana,
small children, about 6 years old or younger,
they were chanting their one round japa.
There was a plate of sandeśa.
When their japa finished they would all get the sandeśa.
Now some of the children were looking at the sandeśa and chanting! Ha!
Anyway, somehow or other they were enthusiastically chanting!
So we should think of some ways to enthuse them.
Category: [Day-to-day Life / Children], [Day-to-day Life / Parents], [Sādhanā / Preaching]
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