Question: Being a gṛhastha and at the same time we do temple service also. It happens sometime it becomes difficult to manage or balance the temple service and gṛhastha life at the same time. What should be more importance – spiritual life, temple service or in gṛhastha-āśrama, gṛhastha services? Sometimes we struggle for that. What is the right solution for that and how do we balance our spiritual life at the same time gṛhastha life also?

Author: Devotee
Date: 2023-09-02
Jayapatākā Swami: Interesting question.
You see, Kṛṣṇa conscious gṛhasthas, their gṛhastha life is also spiritual.
Just like Jagadānanda Paṇḍita he met with Sanātana Gosvāmī, and they were discussing about Lord Caitanya.
So, like this Kṛṣṇa conscious gṛhasthas, they could talk about Kṛṣṇa and make plans how to do some spiritual programs in their house.
Just like we see that Lord Caitanya being a sannyāsī, He never cooked.
But He would go to the gṛhasthas’ houses and take His meals.
That was a kind of festival.
How would you like to have Lord Caitanya come to your home?
So, like this, gṛhasthas should also follow Lord Caitanya’s instructions.
yāre dekha, tāre kaha ‘kṛṣṇa’-upadeśa (Cc. Madhya 7.128).
Like Śrīla Prabhupāda said, he wanted all his gṛhastha followers to be paramahaṁsas.
Now, most of these devotees were gṛhasthas,
not in the present, but in the past, they were gṛhasthas.
So Lord Caitanya was instructing them to go back to their homes and chant Hare Kṛṣṇa.
So, like that, if you have some service you can do in the temple,
that is a great benefit.
But also, the activities they can do in their house which promote Kṛṣṇa consciousness,
like Śrīla Prabhupāda was explaining that when they saw Śrīla Prabhupāda, they get frightened, he is a sannyāsī.
So, normally gṛhasthas, like we had a guest last night.
Gṛhasthas are soft selling!
Sannyāsīs they tend to be a bit like hard selling!
So like this, we should try to spread Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
People may say, oh! He has a wife, she has a husband, they are doing all the things in their house, they are happy, why don’t I be Kṛṣṇa conscious, I will be happy!
So gṛhastha is a very important aspect of our preaching.
You should not think that somehow it is lower.
It is a different style.
Hare Kṛṣṇa.
Category: [Varṇāśrama / Gṛhastha]

Related Questions

After finishing studies, what āśrama should I take? Should I be a gṛhastha or join the temple?
Questioner: Devotee
Date: 2024-02-20
Jayapatākā Swami: Śrīla Prabhupāda said that if someone thought whether I should be a gṛhastha or a brahmacārī,
being a brahmacārī is a difficult proposition.
If they think that let me try being a brahmacārī for some time that is one thing.
But now when you are studying to think immediately after studies should I be a brahmacārī or a gṛhastha, how is that possible?
Śrīla Prabhupāda said that you need to be determined and firm to become a brahmacārī.
This is called bṛhad-vrata.
I see some devotees stay as a brahmacārī for five years and after that discuss with the guru what should I do.
When I joined the movement, I was only 19 years. The temple president’s wife in the temple I was in told me that if you want to go back to Godhead, you should become a gṛhastha.
Then I went to Śrīla Prabhupāda and asked him, “What should I do?” I did not think that at this age I want to be a gṛhastha.
Śrīla Prabhupāda said, “You be a brahmacārī for 25 years and after that discuss with your guru and he will decide.”
Śrīla Prabhupāda gave me sannyāsa when I was 21 years old.
Now I have completed 50 years of sannyāsa.
Anyway, from 25 to 30 one should think,
if they think that which āśrama they will be stronger in. In the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam there is the Gajendra-mokṣa episode
where Gajendra is the king of elephants.
He was fighting with the king of crocodiles in the water.
The fight went on for many days.
Because elephant is a land animal
and crocodile is a water animal
and is in the water,
the crocodile is having some more strength.
Gajendra understood that I am slowly getting weak.
In the purport Śrīla Prabhupāda said we should see in which situation will we be stronger to serve Kṛṣṇa.
Being a gṛhastha or a brahmacārī, we have to think.
But why should you do it right now?
You have to make up your mind that some days I will be a brahmacārī and then will think.
But if someone thinks that I will be stronger as a gṛhastha,
the purpose is that we should do service to Kṛṣṇa.
Then it is advisable to get married to a Kṛṣṇa conscious girl.
Many non-devotee girls will say, “I will eat veg.”
There was a case in Māyāpur.
The devotee after discussion with me, married a non-devotee.
They had a child
and then the girl started eating nonveg.
The devotee said, “You promised that you will not eat nonveg.”
The girl said, “You know what family I come from,
I was trying
but I cannot.
I will eat chicken.”
One thing is that I will not be a brahmacārī, I will be a gṛhastha. And then being a gṛhastha, you have to be in such a situation that you can be Kṛṣṇa conscious.
If you get married to a non-devotee, then there will be lot of inconvenience.
Anyway, stay a brahmacārī till the age of about 25 and then after that decide.
Hare Kṛṣṇa!
As per guru and śāstra, women are to serve their husbands and children devotedly. However, the ultimate goal of life (kṛṣṇa-prema) requires a lot of sādhanā. Will serving the family become an obstacle towards the goal? Also, how can women go back to Godhead in one lifetime?
Questioner: Harshita Sharma
Date: 2022-10-04
Jayapatākā Swami: Lord Caitanya advised that we should do yukta-vairāgya.
Everything we do, we do as an offering to Kṛṣṇa.
So, ideally the wife can marry a devotee of Kṛṣṇa.
Just by assisting him,
she is also directly doing devotional service.
If she is not so fortunate to have a devotee,
she can also try to bring up her children in Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
She can offer bhoga to the Deities
and take prasāda and give prasāda to the family.
There are different ways one can engage in devotional service.
I had the good fortune of visiting many gṛhastha families,
seeing how they have Deities,
how they are offering the bhoga,
offering āratī to the deities.
Some people have picture altars,
some have Deities.
So, we are seeing how the families are spreading Kṛṣṇa consciousness,
how they are practicing.
This is the way that one can achieve success in this lifetime.
Can a gṛhastha devotee serve Kṛṣṇa like a brahmacārī?
Questioner: Devotee
Date: 2022-08-27
Jayapatākā Swami: You see it depends on one’s nature.
In the 8th canto of the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam,
there is fight between the king of the elephants and the king of the crocodiles.
So the fight was in the water.
At one point, the elephant felt that he was losing.
Because he is a land animal,
and he was in the water.
But the crocodile is a water animal.
So somehow or another he was in his elements, so he was stronger.
In the purport Śrīla Prabhupāda says that we should see what is our nature.
That in every situation, we want to fight against māyā.
So, if your nature is more vairāgya, then you can be a brahmacārī for a long time.
If your nature is more gṛhastha,
then you may be in that āśrama.
But then it is important to have a devotee wife.
So that both of you can fight against māyā as a team,
to serve Kṛṣṇa.
If the lady is simply māyā,
then that will not be very convenient.
It is very important to marry a Kṛṣṇa conscious lady,
if you want to have a gṛhastha-āśrama.
Of course, having a household means you have to work.
Unless you have a service at the temple, you have to spend some time earning money.
So it is little more of a balancing act.
Being a brahmacārī has certain advantages – you don’t have these responsibilities.
But again, you have to see what your nature is.
If your nature is such that you have to be a gṛhastha,
then you should try to find a devotee mate.
See how you can do your devotional service together.
Unfortunately, people when they look for a mate, they look for a nice face!
But actually, you have to deal with the mind.
So you should see that they are Kṛṣṇa conscious.
One boy, he married a non-devotee,
he was asked by his parents.
She was a non-veg,
but she promised I will be a vegetarian.
After they had a baby,
she started eating chicken.
Then he said, “You promised you will be a vegetarian!”
She said, “I promised,
I tried,
I was a vegetarian for a year.
You know what background I came from –
sorry, I have to eat
meat!”
So, better to have a devotee from the beginning.
So at least there is less maintenance.
Marriage is two people.
You have to have the other person on the same wavelength.
As brahmacārīs, when you are staying in the āśrama, there are some crazy people also.
So there are ups and downs in both sides.
Brahmacārīs, you don’t have responsibilities, so you can serve Kṛṣṇa 24 hours.
But gṛhasthas can also do a lot of service.
So if they make money, they can give some money to the temple.
Or they can do various preaching.
We want people to serve Kṛṣṇa,
no matter what they are.
Does one become a gṛhastha because of previous karma?
Questioner: Devotee
Date: 2022-08-27
If you are not a pure devotee, Mahārāja’s opinion is that you become gṛhastha by previous karma.
Some people may have sannyāsa karma.
But that doesn’t mean that they will be a devotee of Kṛṣṇa.
They maybe have a sannyāsī tendency.
But somebody fully surrenders to Kṛṣṇa, even though their karma may be to get married,
they can also be transcendental. They can remain as a sannyāsī.
Or someone may have a sannyāsa-yoga, they should be
sannyāsī but if they are ordered that you have to get married, they might also take that up.
They can do anything for Kṛṣṇa.
So, by karma there is some tendencies.
Certainly, that’s what the astrologers, they look so.
Like for instance someone mentioned Madhva, they understand that they looked at the chart,
who has got the sannyāsa-yoga, they pick those people to be sannyāsīs.
So already got that karmic tendency.
We don’t have that type of predisposition.
We don’t take the astrologer with chart to giving someone sannyāsa.
We see whether someone has that… is able to absorb themself in a renounced way
for some period of time.
So, the point is that devotional service can change your karma.
Devotional service can adjust things by Kṛṣṇa’s mercy.
He is the Karma-dātā; He is the one who is giving the karma-phala.
So, He can change someone’s karma.
Sometime astrologer looks at the chart, how did you get there, how did you become a devotee?
According to your chart you should be a real bhogī.
One day a devotee said I don’t understand how I became a devotee.
My whole life I’m simply into sense gratification.
And Prabhupāda said, I made your good fortune for you.
So, by some blessing of a great devotee, one can also change their situation.
So, we have certain amount of freewill
and we can decide in which way we should perform devotional service
after studying so many factors.
Gurumahārāja, being a gṛhastha, how can we understand whether we are actually gṛhastha or a gṛhamedhī. What happens if we don’t act according to the scriptures and go on satisfying our lusty desires?
Questioner: Saṅgītamayī Gopī devī dāsī
Date: 2022-09-02
Jayapatākā Swami: That is why we read in the pastimes of Lord Caitanya
when Lord Caitanya was in Vṛndāvana,
one gṛhastha approached Him
and he said, I am a very very fallen gṛhastha.
So like that he got the mercy from Lord Caitanya.
Now Śrīla Prabhupāda said as gṛhasthas we should try to keep our goal higher.
But as you said, maybe we are not able to achieve that right away.
But we try.
That is why the śāstra gives us different vratās, different systems that we can follow.
Like the Bhīṣma Pañcaka is optional.
So there are many things which are optional.
If you think you need more purification, you can do these optional vratās.
A brahmacārī may consider, these are not for me, I don’t have any problem.
But they can also preach to the gṛhasthas.
And if they do, no harm.
I asked Śrīla Prabhupāda what should we do in the Dāmodara month?
He said, this is especially for the new customers!
Like a store has a sale.
To encourage new customers,
but you are a regular customer.
All the months, all the days, whether sale or not sale, you are a regular customer.
So this is the answer Śrīla Prabhupāda gave me.
In recent class it was mentioned that if there is a pure devotee in a family, fourteen generations of his is delivered. So even if the children are not devotees like smārta-brāhmaṇa sons in the case of Advaita Ācārya, will they also get liberated and get entrance into the spiritual planets?
Questioner: Lakṣmī Rādhā devī dāsī
Date: 2022-01-09
Jayapatākā Swami: You have to make one a pure devotee.
If you have two children, make one a pure devotee.
Category: [Varṇāśrama / Gṛhastha]
Please help me to understand ton he aspect of wearing gold. Lot of people in our family wear gold. But we have learnt that gold is a place of Kali-puruṣa. As a gṛhastha how to understand and implement this?
Questioner: Anand and Janani, Bengaluru
Date: 2022-01-05
Jayapatākā Swami: The gold is a pure metal.
And we use that to decorate our Deities.
But in Kali-yuga maybe people steal gold.
So we have to be careful to use pure gold in Deity worship.
Sometimes the ladies wear gold ornaments on some special functions.
This is allowed
for the gṛhasthas.
The ladies should not wear her gold ornaments when her husband is away,
but she may wear in the presence of her husband,
it is very attractive.
So now we have paper money.
Previously paper money was equal to a certain amount of gold.
That is why we call it Pound Sterling
because it is based on how much silver you can get.
But now there are pounds, euros, rupees
and the paper is not equivalent to any specific amount of gold.
There is a kind of false economy is part of Kali-yuga.
But not that, ladies cannot wear gold ornaments.
It is just that it is a little dangerous,
so usually they wear during special social functions.
Category: [Varṇāśrama / Gṛhastha]
Thank you for the great arrangement for us to do devotional service in Māyāpur. You said as Śrīla Prabhupāda said that gṛhasthas should be like paramahaṁsas what does that mean? How do we understand what paramahaṁsa means?
Questioner: Devotee
Date: 2023-04-13
Jayapatākā Swami: You see Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura he was a gṛhastha.
And his son was Śrīla Prabhupāda’s spiritual master, Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura.
So, Śrīla Prabhupāda was saying that like this the gṛhasthas they could have a child like Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura and we need many such souls to spread Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
But if we cannot have children, I would understand and that by outreach would enthuse many people to Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
We need devotees to use their brain to think how they can spread Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
What is more important for a Vaiṣṇava? To remain a brahmacāri or to beget a child?
Questioner: Devotee
Date: 2022-12-09
Of course more important.
It’s an individual situation.
Individual.
Prabhupāda explains in the 8th Canto Bhāgavatam that we have to work from wherever our position of strength is.
The example that’s said,
the elephant was fighting against the crocodile.
But the crocodile and elephant were in the water.
So the elephant was becoming weaker,
and the crocodile was becoming stronger.
So the elephant was getting to not able to fight.
So he start to pray to Kṛṣṇa to help.
So in this verse Prabhupāda explains that the devotees should be physically,
mentally,
and spiritually strong.
And it gets to be a bit of an energy drain.
In other words,
for them,
the mind is being distracted that a lot by different thoughts.
So it’s a constant thing that a person has to work at.
Of course,
everyone can do it,
but it seems to be like an energy drain,
or possibly one will be more peaceful and productive in a family situation.
So basically it depends upon each individual.
Generally our program is that people should first of all practise the brahmacārī life as far as possible,
and become strong,
and after some time,
then the Spiritual master and the senior Vaiṣṇavas,
they can help to advice one,
whether they should enter into the gṛhastha-āśrama,
whether they should try to remain in the brahmacārī ashram for some more time,
or in some cases,
whether,
rarely,
someone should take sannyāsa.
What should be the mood of a gṛhastha who is serving in the temple and has to accept Lakṣmī for maintaining his family? Could the service also be selfless ?
Questioner: Śrījīva Gosvāmī dāsa
Date: 2022-10-04
Jayapatākā Swami: If they are taking minimal amount,
what they need for maintaining their family,
so if the temple thinks it is worthwhile,
then one should do that.
And that would be considered as selfless service.
Of course, if one is taking a huge amount and saving a lot,
then he may consider if it is selfless.
You mentioned that Śrīla Prabhupāda said that gṛhasthas should be paramahaṁsas. My question is what is a paramahaṁsa and how can we become one?
Questioner: Devotee
Date: 2023-09-06
Jayapatākā Swami: Lord Caitanya told Raghunātha Bhaṭṭa not to marry.
In the purport he was explaining how generally gṛhasthas were usually involved in their family affairs
in sense gratification,
so they don’t make much advancement or very slow.
But actually, if the husband wife, if they actually worship together to advance in Kṛṣṇa consciousness,
how to make the children, facilitate the children to be Kṛṣṇa conscious,
how to - just like we have some gṛhasthas they head Bhakti-vṛkṣa groups.
Some gṛhasthas they manage the temple,
some gṛhasthas are working in maintaining the temple.
The point is that if we concentrate on Kṛṣṇa, and we try to work as gṛhasthas to please Kṛṣṇa,
it is not normal. Normally the gṛhasthas, they do not think much about Kṛṣṇa.
That is why a Vaiṣṇava gṛhastha is much different from an ordinary gṛhastha.
They are trying to do things for Kṛṣṇa, they cook for Kṛṣṇa, they offer to Kṛṣṇa, they chant Hare Kṛṣṇa.
Just like, I saw in Chennai, some of the children, were doing a drama.
Two were Yamadūtas and one was playing Yamarāja.
A girl was playing Yamarāja and she had a mustache on.
So the Yamadūtas were complaining that these devotee, the gṛhasthas, they are worshiping the Deities in their homes.
They are offering their food to Kṛṣṇa,
they are chanting Hare Kṛṣṇa,
they are read Bhagavad-gītā, Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam,
they are preaching.
We cannot arrest them, we cannot take them to hell!
If everyone does like this, what will we do?
So I thought that was a very nice drama.
So I asked the gṛhastha, who would like to have mercy on the Yamadūtas?
Give them some work to do!
No one raised their hands!
So I said, who would like to give them a vacation?
So anyway, paramahaṁsa, is not very difficult, it just means that together, to keep Kṛṣṇa in the center.